I’m having a hard time right now because I want to wrap myself into a pile of blankets and grimey yet comforting music and books and lull myself away into oblivion and avoid everyone but my sister and it’s so hard because life goes on and I must learn to keep momentum and I know that this is a run on sentence but that’s only because that’s how I feel like I’m living my life right now; in a series of run on sentences.
With really long breaks inbetween. And then I lose the momentum.
The scary thing is that no one thing in particular has happened to make me feel like this. It was my 20th birthday on Monday and it was so wonderous, and right now the thought of class tomorrow is making me ill and I don’t want to be around people at all.
Goodness I feel so far from my person and I want to know who they are and what small things make them smile and please hurry up because I want to share so much with you. I know I’m young but honestly.. I know that you’re out there somewhere and I’ve so excited to meet you.
I want to crawl somewhere and not be touched or disturbed or anything.
I want to work in a bookstore and sell my own artwork there as well. Live in a cozy appartment down the street.
Maybe be an art therapist, live down the street from a bookstore that I become a regular at and sell art to people in the bookstore. Go there on my days off. Have a cozy appartment. Enough room for friends. Loads of bookcases and space to make my art.
My mind is a cluttered mess of the future and it won’t stop and I’m literally spinning back and forth between fear and excitement. I’m not sure what’s happening anymore.
Found this on the interwebs. It’s not mine, just thought I’d share the heck out of it.
It’s beyond fuckin’ rad.
All my love,