Spilling the Beans

“Don’t go into darkness, darkness will always come. Always go towards the light.”   Very wise words of my voice teacher today in class. I’m currently on lunch break and felt it necessary to sit against my locker; eat my rice and salad, drink my water, do my voice log and post a post to sort things out.

I’m not sure where to start.

Let’s start at the end.

I’m tumbling through life at the moment. I’m tumbling through others words and getting lost in my own. That’s a very fine and poetic way to explain it but it gives others no idea what is actually happening. I’m sliding in a tunnel of mischief and mayhem when it comes to him.. I’m learning that backing off of him isn’t doing myself any good because there is no reaction from him that I’m aware of because of an awful lack of contact. Hmmm. I’ve thought about forgetting but then I find myself lost in the realm of thinking so often of how to forget and what I need to be doing to forget and it’s this really gosh awful circle of confusion and mix ups and confusions and not knowing which way is up and which way is down.

But then again, I’m getting really good at thinking about forgetting.

It’s an awfully glum day today. There’s rain mixing with snow and clouds drifting over the sun and no apologies what so ever.  And as I sit up against my locker listening to Emily and the Woods I have hope. I have hopes of speaking on voice (don’t worry about it), I have hopes of finding the person eventually that I’m meant to be with eternally and I have hopes about my existence – it’s affects on others and internal affects of other existences.

In in my mind I make the world much bigger than it is.  I take things head on collisions which isn’t always negative but it can be overwhelming.

Calm down, Joy, you’ll make it through this, you can make it through anything.

Thank you. I needed that.

Life is beautiful and bright and vibrant and grand, just open your eyes up a little further. It isn’t all bad.

All yours and all mine, 



Life is busy and complicated with school and antics but I’m doing my best to write. And all writers know how  good writing feels. It lifts my soul of burdens and allows my heart to spit out what I’ve been gnawing on lately. Thanks for every drop of support you give, it means an ocean to me.



About midnightpulse

I'm drunk off books, stumbling into new worlds constantly. I'm addicted to books, words, art and theatre. My inspiration comes from the moon, life, those I love and the water. I've been told I need rehab. More than once. Call me Joy. [[Pictures posted are not mine unless I state so. Most are found online and I take no credit for]] View all posts by midnightpulse

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